after like decades, I've decided to put yet another entry here.
they say... only keep the good memories and forget the bad ones.
if blogging is a way of jotting down your memories and remembering it...
I say... blabber away those bad memories on blog and keep the good ones in your heart.

ever since I started internship, I find myself sighing more and more.
indah and I keep reminding ourselves how age is catching up with us. its bad.
it doesn't help when FYP is an ongoing thing I have to sort out.

I was disgusted.
By the ugly humans...

Like what kate says... it feels awful to be treated like second-class citizens.
I hate double-standards. I hate it whenever you say one thing but performs another. I hate people who don't even know what's call respect.

I must say... joining the club makes me stronger and I've learnt so much stuff that I don't even know how to word it here.
If you challenge me... I will not hesistate to slap you back.
Of course, I've also learnt that this comes with a consequence.
It may sometimes be good... sometimes bad. You'll never know.
The key is how to give it a nice ending.
Something that you will never regret for doing what you've did.
I'm still learning the art of it.

Interestingly, my fyp topic on Emotional Intelligence is slowly casting itself on me.
Research says...Having the ability to manage one's own emotions and others is definitely not easy to possess. Even if you have high EI, doesn't mean that the outcome is gonna be a satisfactory one. I totally agree with it. No wonder they say ... always be scientific. Even things like emotions can be explained thru research. Wow.

And if you're confused on what's happening to me right now... I'll give you a gist of the outcome.
I'm on the verge of deciding if I should get both my manager and her daughter into really really big trouble. Even to the extent of getting laid off I believe.
I have already offended my tutor and she has already said "your grades are in my hand" - somewhere along that line.
I hate my company and how the people treats interns there. Trust me... too many things have happened to make me feel this way.

I've not regretted for the decisions I've made.
I'm just going through... whats call... the aftermath of my actions. Hah!

I've seen enough of nonsense.
Why work so hard for them when people don't appreciate?
Why fight through so hard when ultimately people just ignore you but only to find out that they did it not because you are not making sense but just that somebody else has a "louder" say.
Why try so hard when you know that you could easily shirk off responsibilities and pretend that nothing happened?
Why try to make yourself heard when you have no say?

I won't deem this as unfair cos I chose this path...

How ugly can humans be? If animals can talk, I bet they can answer that. Be ashamed, humans.

I can't imagine how can one feel the ups and downs in just one night.
I'm falling apart..

a thank you email from someone you don't know.
tests papers with grades that took me by surprise.
getting a professor for your FYP just 2 days before deadline.
have a project topic that you think is interesting.
having energy and attention for straight 6hours of lessons.
sister coming back from Vietnam.
seeing my relative in a place i dun expect - school.
hearing from my own committee member that they have learnt something from me.
.
.
.
everything seem to slowly fall in place.
maybe i hasnt swayed too much from the path I've chose... i just lost focus.
wish me luck. :)

THINGS THAT WILL MAKE ME HAPPY NOW.

I chance upon this research article while doing my literature review for FYP. And guess what I've found?

The pragmatics of swearing

The main purpose of swearing is to express emotions, especially anger and frustration. Swear words are well suited to express emotion as their primary meanings are connotative. The emotional impact of swearing depends on one's experience with a culture and its language conventions. A cognitive psychological framework is used to account for swearing in a variety of contexts and provide a link to impoliteness research. In support of this framework, native and non-native English-speaking college students rated the offensiveness and likelihood of hypothetical scenarios involving taboo words. The ratings demonstrated that appropriateness of swearing is highly contextually variable, dependent on speaker-listener relationship, social-physical context, and particular word used. Additionally, offensiveness ratings were shown to depend on gender (for native speakers) and English experience (for non-native speakers). Collectively these data support the idea that it takes time for speakers to learn where, when, and with whom swearing is appropriate.

I definitely didn't know that swearing can form the basis for a research paper too! Will be quite interesting if this were my main topic of interest. :P

Was talking to Kate about this violent teacher I had when I was in Primary 4. Every Friday is Fruity Friday and we're suppose to bring fruits to school. No fruit? Get prepared to be hit by the blackboard duster! OUCH.




No wonder i feel that I have lesser time now... -.-